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|Monday, March 19th, 2007|
|How could a funeral be MORE depressing? Here's how!
So my uncle's funeral was this past weekend. Before and after the service, his whole family (our side and his wife's side) were crammed into their tiny house, and a lot of time was spent squished together on the sofa looking at pictures.
"Just look at this ugly baby," I whispered to my mom, showing her a picture. "If this were my baby I would drown it! Wouldn't you if it were yours?"
Apparently, the answer was no. It was, and she hadn't. I had found my own baby pictures.
Damn. Current Mood: cynical
|Saturday, January 27th, 2007|
|Maybe I need a makeover
On Thursday, I dyed my hair from auburny-brown to very dark brown. The color's still settling in, but I think it's going to look great. I'm still fuzting around with my makeup, trying to find a look that works with the haircolor without being all princess-of-darkness-y. Before I changed my hair color, I could do smoky eyes with my current favorite lipstick -- it's this great plummy winey color -- and not look weird, but now all the dark colors together are a touch overwhelming. I found this out today (well, Friday) when I did my makeup like I usually do, and then stepped back and said, "Bit much? Yeah. Bit much."
I mentioned to my mom at dinner that I thought that the makeup made me look, y'know, a touch consumptive. She looked at me, at my black eyeliner, grey eyeshadow, and plum lipstick, and said "But you're not wearing makeup, are you?"
My own mother no longer knows what I look like without makeup.
Maybe I have a problem. Current Mood: cynical
|Wednesday, January 17th, 2007|
So the other day, I was standing in front of the mirror, and I said, "I hate my boobs. They look all wrong. I'd like to get them reduced -- and then get implants. I think that would look much better."
Then I said, "Sweet fancy Moses, did I just decide that my problem is that my breasts do not look sufficiently fake? What is WRONG with me?"
My kitty Merlin had dental surgery today. Apparently, kitties get a viral gum disease -- a herpes strain -- that precedes tooth disease, as opposed to humans or dogs, in whom tooth disease precedes the gum damage. Who knew? I just wish I could have learned that factoid without my kitty having bleeding gum abcesses or losing a few teeth. Or, y'know, having mouth herpes. (Dr. Joe promises me that it's probably not transferable to either our other kitties or the people in the household.)
Sorry. I hope you weren't eating. Current Mood: listless
|Tuesday, January 16th, 2007|
I can't believe Ryan Seacrest is still trying to convince people he's straight. I'm not buying; are you?
I'm going mad. There just aren't enough hours in the day. I want a 30-hour day! Who's with me?
I know I've been going through one of my periods of unreachability and I'm sorry. I love you all and hope you're well and if you call me I will do my damnedest to call you back! Current Mood: rushed
|Monday, January 1st, 2007|
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
As I said in a message left on a friend's voicemail: let's hope 2007 sucks less ass than 2006 did.
2007. It's a crazy big number. Current Mood: mellow
|Sunday, December 17th, 2006|
|Why I'm Going To Hell, Part 746
Me, to my mother:
"FINE, I'll go with you to see the family at Christmas. But only because you're OLD and when you're DEAD I can do WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT on Christmas. So there." Current Mood: pissed off
|Saturday, December 16th, 2006|
|OMG it's looking at me!
Usually when I'm sitting at the computer, the lights in the room are off. My cats really dig this, because it gives them a whole new way to freak me out. They'll sit at my feet and stare at me. Because they're under my desk in the dark, I can't really see them, but I can see the creepy green reflecty glow of their pupils out of the corner of my eye. They're invisible when I stare straight at them, but when I look away, there are those little glowy orbs again. It FREAKS ME OUT. Fortunately, the cat who does this most often (Merlin) has breath that would stun a hippo. I know there's nothing scary down there because nothing paranormal could smell that FOUL.
It's still kinda scary. Current Mood: weirded out
|Monday, December 11th, 2006|
| Current Mood: cheerful
|Wednesday, August 30th, 2006|
Hail Hugh Laurie, full of grace,
Hottest art thou among men,
And hottest art thine eyes of bluest blue.
Hail Hugh Laurie, teh hott is with thee.
Have pity on us
And come make out with us in every room of the house. Current Mood: weird
|Saturday, August 26th, 2006|
I am Windsor Hospital's Employee of the Month.
I am on a high that probably won't end until Monday, when fall class starts. Why did I decide that Trig was a good idea? Current Mood: accomplished
|Wednesday, August 9th, 2006|
Las night, Bunny, Amy, Laura, Richard and I (well, really just me, but I look less guilty when I blame the whole group) called Vera, put her on speakerphone and had her sing the Phallic Song. That was all we wanted. I felt kind of bad.
My mother's management strategy: Instead of doing one simple task, scream at strangers and make false accusations until they do a half-dozen things for you that accomplish the same goal. Good times. Current Mood: annoyed
|Saturday, July 15th, 2006|
I just had a dream that equated my job with getting kidnapped by Voldemort.
Hmmm. Current Mood: annoyed
|Wednesday, July 12th, 2006|
|Whining, and cake
Wow. Paris Hilton looks kind of pretty in her "Stars Are Blind" video. How'd that happen? Never underestimate the value of a good makeup artist, I suppose. Current Mood: frustrated
Have you ever fallen asleep in the middle of the day, had a dream that it was much later in the day, and then woken up and been completely disoriented? That just happened to me. I keep thinking it's, like, nine in the evening.
So my mom volunteered herself (and by "herself" I mean "us," and by "us" I mean "me") to make the cake for our friend Thom's upcoming wedding. I'm actually sort of excited. I'm going to do a two-tier chocolate butter cake with raspberry glop. It's going to be fantastic, and early tests have been deemed smashingly successful. Oh, I just love weddings! (Hey Bunny -- get married!)
The downside of the whole affair is that Thom's son is the young man for whom I am currently carrying a torch. I just met this "girl" of his, and I am underwhelmed. She's nothing I'm not (not even thin!), and I'm totally smarter than she is. At least I have a platform on which to sulk. And Nathan's sending out these crazy mixed signals and Thom has caught me making sad cow-eyes at Nathan a couple times, and ... ugh. I'm moving to a remote location to be a hermit. This whole human-interaction thing is just too stressful.
Except for all y'all out there who I know are reading this. I love you. Come and visit me on my mountain.
|Sunday, June 11th, 2006|
"Y'know, maybe, if I had CABLE, I wouldn't have to be a pirate."
"Oh, look! 'ADULT'!"
"You know what that means, don't you?"
" ... The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beatiful pea-green boat ..."
"You just loose-associated porn to 'The Owl and the Pussycat'? That is the loosest association EVER. My loose association about skinning a cat by sticking a hose up its butt just got taken out into the street and got its ass beaten by your loose association."
"Ha, ha, I thought we said I wasn't hallucinating. SHUT UP! I'm not! They're not hallucinations, they're delusions."
"I can't marry a tall, cute, smart Jewish boy! My mom would feel like she won!"
The weekend wasn't nearly so bad as I was afraid it would be. Tomorrow: Tony night! Current Mood: crazy
|Friday, June 9th, 2006|
|The Weekend Looms
You know who used to be hot? Christopher Walken
(on the left). Woof.
Also: Owain Owain Owain wheee! (Y'all are going to get sick of hearing about this dog, I promise.)
So a bunch of my friends are graduating from high school tomorrow. Congratulations, girls! I know you don't mean to make me feel old. (You do anyway.) Unfortunately, I cannot go to the actual graduation, because I am being dragged to a bar mitzvah out of town. I don't even know the kid. I'm not going to know *anyone* there, short of my mother, and we all know how famously my mom and I get on. I mean this literally. I will not know ANYONE. I used to know the kid's parents -- I was a flower girl in their wedding when I was four -- but I haven't seen them since I was about seven. That was like THIRTEEN YEARS AGO.
This might be the first time in the history of ever that I'm not looking forward to the weekend. Aw, fuck. Current Mood: gloomy
|Thursday, June 8th, 2006|
|YAY YAY YAY DOGGIE YAY
I have a dog.
His name is Owain; he is a golden retriever/??? mix. He is a grown-up doggie and came to us exceedingly well trained. I am under orders not to "ruin" this one.
I HAVE A DOGGIE, Y'ALL! He might be the most perfect animal in the world. I am so in love it's crazy. Current Mood: in love
|Saturday, June 3rd, 2006|
Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits: "Dizzy Miss Lizzie," the Beatles
Waking up: "Mrs. Robinson," Simon & Garfunkel
Average day: "Only Living Boy in New York," Simon & Garfunkel
First date: "Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love)," as sung by Alanis Morissette
Falling in love: "Truly Madly Deeply," Savage Garden
At My Most Beautiful: "Wonderwall," Oasis
Fight scene: "Baby's On Fire," Brian Eno
Breaking up: "Goodbye My Lover," James Blunt
Getting back together: "She Will Be Loved," Maroon 5
Secret love: "A Sorta Fairytale," Tori Amos
Life's okay: "Alone in the Universe," from Seussical
but as sung by George Masswohl
Mental breakdown: "Every You Every Me," Placebo
Driving: "Ma Ya Hi (Dragostea Din Tei)," O-ZONE
Learning a lesson: "Such Great Heights," The Postal Service
Deep thought: "April Come She Will," Simon & Garfunkel
Flashback: "Champagne Supernova," Oasis
Partying: "It's Raining Men," The Weather Girls
Happy dance: "Whenever, Wherever," Shakira
Regretting: "Special Needs," Placebo
Long night alone: "Porcelain," Red Hot Chili Peppers
Death scene: "Edelweiss," from The Sound of Music
but as sung by Harry Connick Jr.
Lifted from crazy4drama
, the lovely Miss Grace.
I totally want to compile a CD now. It'd be rockin'. Current Mood: contemplative
|Friday, June 2nd, 2006|
|Oh my lord
So maybe you've heard about this ...
Some teenaged kid was watching the finale of American Idol with his mom. His mom commented that she thought that Katherine McPhee could go onto a successful pop career, despite having lost the season to Taylor Hicks. The kid, who was apparently not a McPhee fan (I don't use words like "McPheever," but if I did I'd be using them here), started shouting at his mother that this was impossible.
Then he hit her. In fact, he hit her in the head with a bicycle chain with a weight on it.
Last I heard, she's doing OK. But still, y'all, he attacked his own mother over an American Idol contestant.
They do say that Idol hands do the devil's work. Or something like that, anyway; I wasn't really listening. Current Mood: amused
|Friday, May 12th, 2006|
Current Mood: sore
by James Joyce
Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared
to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do
understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once
brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in
the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you
additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.